GRANDMA’S ALBUM OF MEMORIES

After reading ‘Grannies are good for you’ in The Star’, I felt prompted to write this article. It mentioned a study done that confirms what I have personally experienced all these years – that grandparenting creates a ‘cherished intergenerational bond’ and a ‘cognitive empathy’. When grandmas look at photos of their grandchild, they feel what the child is feeling – joy or distress. This is not the case when grandmas look at photos of an unknown child. What was new to me was the hypothesis that women live longer and go through menopause so that they would be around longer to care for their grandchildren, replacing their child-bearing years with child-caring years. Well, that does make sense.  

I consider myself a hands-on grandma. I helped take care of Max, Reiya and Ryder when they were born till they were toddlers, and have continued to spend time with them in their growing up years till today. Allie and Hana grew up in Singapore. We bonded over my visits and family vacations together.

I speak for my friends who are also grannies when I say looking at photos or videos of our grandchildren gives us immense joy. This has been the case during the past year and a half when the pandemic SOP meant we were unable to see our grandchildren except in photos or on the screen via Zoom. So do allow me to indulge a little with these photos below. 

Like my friends who are grandmas, our grandchildren are a source of
joy, fun and pride. Children grow up so fast. Before you know it,
they are preteens, and then full-fledged teenagers. Indeed Max is a young man now at 21. They have their own friends and school activities, and we spend less time together now. That’s why the fleeting moments spent with them are precious. 

While most grandparents are ready to help out if they are able, there are some who feel they have paid their dues and done their duty as parents. It’s time their adult children did theirs, they say. On the other hand, there are doting grandparents who do a great job minding their grandchildren. They are also fortunate to have children who are very appreciative of their help. When both sides adopt an open and trusting relationship with reasonable compromising, they create the ideal home environment for the little ones.

Some seniors I know tell me they do not want to live too long. They would rather depart in their 70s if they no longer enjoy good health or financial support, or are miserable because of strained family reIationships. This is exactly why we have to prepare early for our retirement years to ensure we remain active, mobile and financially independent. Relationships with our adult children need to be cultivated and strengthened as they are the ones who will provide moral and financial support, and make major decisions for us.

I’ll be 74 in 2022. God willing, I want to be around to see all my grandchildren do well and find their purpose in life. For this to happen, I will have to look after myself, be responsible for my health, and live within my means. With long life and good health, I will be around not so much to look after my great grandchildren in my old age, but to just be there to see them growing up. The cycle of life.